


Half Drabbles

by orphan_account



Category: Half Life Trilogy - Sally Green
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:40:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4469165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles for Nathan and Gabriel.</p><p>Five: Nathan does whatever it takes to help Gabriel go to college.<br/>Six: Nathan and Gabriel cross paths with an old friend of Gabriel's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Have to Let Go Eventually

“You know, you can always spar with me.”

I lift my head from where I’m resting on the ground. I just finished one hundred pushups, and I plan to run through the woods once I decide to stand up. Gabriel watches me from where he sits on his haunches. Gabriel is always with me these days.

We are still part of the Alliance, but nothing is the same after Jessica’s trick. The base moves around more, and while Gabriel and I still move with them, we tend to sleep a half mile away, and we train on our own now. Celia and the rest only allow it because they know they need us, and we will leave if they try to keep us too encaged.

“I’m about to run,” I tell Gabriel.

Gabriel leaves his patch of grass and comes to lay down on my patch of grass with me. We both stare up at where the wisps of clouds lazily drift across the sky. Tiny white flowers sway in the wind between us.

“Are you afraid I will beat you?” Gabriel teases, but that’s his way of asking something else. We both know I will beat him easily.

“I don’t want to spar now,” I dismiss.

Gabriel turns on his side and looks at me. He props up on his elbow, and he rests his head in his open palm, and I refuse to look back at him. I concentrate on where the sun shines through the halo of clouds until black spots appear in my vision, and I have to glance away from that, too. Gabriel is still watching me.

“Nathan,” he says.

“I’m just going to beat you. You’ll get hurt, and then you’ll have to heal,” I say.

“Like you said, I’ll heal. You don’t want to get out of practice, do you?”

“Why do you want to spar with me so badly?” I ask, and I wonder. Sometimes Gabriel pushes because he knows I want to tell him something anyway. It’s always for me. He hardly ever does something just for himself, and sometimes that bothers me.

Gabriel shrugs the best he can with one arm supporting his head. “I thought you might want to let out some frustration. Just pushups and running aren’t quite the same, right?”

They’re not, but I don’t want to admit it. I have fought Gabriel before, and there’s a small scar near his eyebrow that reminds us both of that time. I left him a mess when he didn’t even have the ability to heal himself. Somehow, feeling Gabriel’s blood between my fingers would leave me in a worse state than before.

“You don’t have to hold back from me. I know what you can do, and it’s not going to scare me away.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to beat you up just to let out some pent up energy,” I return.

This time, the silence between us is different. Gabriel is thinking, and I can practically feel the thoughts connecting behind the golden sparkles in his dark brown eyes.

“Okay,” he says. “But you have to let yourself go eventually.”

…

I do not really know what to expect from Gabriel after that. We go for a run together, and I leave him behind to go ahead. When we meet up again, we go to the Alliance’s camp to speak with Celia. We eat while we are there, and before we leave to sleep where we have set up our own bedding, Celia corners us again.

The Alliance is still too scattered to begin planning a raid yet, but they do need food and supplies. I know what she wants before she says it. I have my father’s abilities now. I can use invisibility to steal. Gabriel volunteers to go with me, and we promise to bring food back tomorrow.

We sleep next to each other, and sometimes our fingers brush between us. Then I turn over and go to sleep.

The next morning, I wake before Gabriel and run a lap through the woods. When I am on my way back, I know he is waiting for me. He crouches behind some brush, and though I can’t see him, I sense him there. Maybe it’s my animal instincts, but I feel him more inside me than using my senses to pick up on his presence. Maybe it’s just Gabriel.

I pretend not to notice, and I run past where he is waiting. A moment later, I feel an arm wrap around my throat and pull me backward.

Though I intended to let Gabriel do what he wanted, my instincts take over, and I react instead. I drop the center of my weight and pull his body with me. I flip him over my head, and he gasps on the ground. I lean over him.

“I’m not going to spar with you,” I say.

His eyes lock onto mine, and eventually his wheezes fade to nothing. “You heard me coming,” he guesses.

“Something like that.”

I help him up, and we pack our things.

We use a roadmap from a motel to choose a village that seems to be doing well economically. It takes us a few days to make it there, and I hunt in my animal form. Gabriel has just enough money to pick up cups of coffee and bread from small stores.

When we reach the village, I practice in an empty alleyway first. At first I close my eyes, and there’s nothing. Then Gabriel offers encouragements, and he patiently watches as I eventually disappear from sight. It’s like choosing to move my arm rather than my leg. I just have to determine what limb performs what function.

Once I can properly turn invisible, we scope out a grocery store, and Gabriel watches it for the rest of the day. He tells me exactly how to enter and what to retrieve, and when everyone goes home, I do exactly as Gabriel says.

We leave with enough food in three backpacks to last the camp two weeks.

…

This time, Gabriel pounces on me before I realize he’s there. I just finished swimming in the lake. We moved camps recently, and I wanted to explore the body of water we decided to use as our cover. I am buttoning my shorts when he launches himself at me, and we both fall to the ground.

“Gabriel, what-?”

He hits me. The shock affects me more than the actual pain. He aimed for my chest which is ineffective in a real fight, but he gets my attention.

“Gabriel, get off. Why?”

He hits me again. I clasp his wrists with my own fists. “Hit me back,” Gabriel orders.

“No.”

I forget how strong Gabriel is sometimes. He rips his arms from my grip and hits me hard enough that I feel the ache. I can sense the dull flames of anger stirring in my stomach, and I throw him off me. He has barely landed before he comes at me again, and I throw my forearm up to block his strike.

“Gabriel, stop this,” I hiss.

He tries to punch again, and I react before I know what I’m doing. I strike him in the stomach, and he crumples to the ground. When he groans, I realize what I have done, and I kneel at his side.

I want to reach out to help him, but that seems wrong when I have put him in this position. I also want to hit him again because he’s an idiot for wanting to fight so desperately. What did he expect? I am made for killing.

Then he starts to laugh, and I wonder if I hit him too hard.

He looks up at me, and he smiles.

“You finally let go,” he says.

“What are you talking about?”

“All this time, you’ve been acting so careful. Like you don’t want to scare anyone else away. Like you’re scared we’ll be scared of you after what happened. It’s about time you show some of that old aggression again.”

I stare at him for a while before I sit down next to him. “You’re an idiot,” I tell him, but I am smiling.


	2. Anytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This scene from Half Wild melted my heart, so I needed an extension.

“Do you remember when you told me that you would buy me lunch anytime?”

Gabriel smiles. His hands are in his pockets as he and Nathan walk together through the streets of a small village in Switzerland. “I recall something like that,” he acknowledges.

“Can now be one of those times?” Nathan asks.

They choose a small shop that advertises sandwiches though they specialize in coffee. Nathan orders the former while Gabriel chooses the latter. Once they retrieve their orders and Gabriel pays, they go to a booth in the back corner where they can observe the door without being noticed. They do not think Hunters could have followed them here, but they know better than to assume too much.

When Nathan met Gabriel at the arranged meeting place, the rest of the Alliance had already moved on to a temporary safe place. Few escaped Jessica’s attack alive, and those that did suffered injuries and low morale. Van told Gabriel that if they do not meet them at the safe place quickly, they would move on and leave them behind.

Nathan reached Gabriel within two days, but Nathan decided that the Alliance no longer offered them what they needed. Gabriel eagerly followed him on their own path.

Now they sit in a quiet corner to themselves, and Gabriel does not tell Nathan that he should have listened to him about Annalise, and Nathan does not approach the subject at all. Rather, he digs into his sandwich with fervor, and Gabriel sips his coffee.

“You should eat, too,” Nathan says as he finishes off the last of his meal.

Gabriel shrugs. “You would be surprised by how far you can get on caffeine alone.”

Nathan thinks he would rather make sure Gabriel gets some sustenance, but he keeps quiet. They relax a moment, and even just a few minutes of sitting in relative safety means so much to them.

But as much as they enjoy the quiet, they cannot postpone the rest of the world for long.

“What now?” Gabriel asks.

Nathan takes Gabriel’s spoon that he used to stir his coffee and plays with it between his fingers. “My father did not want his Gifts to go to waste. I’m going to kill Soul.”

“That’s what the Alliance intends to do as well, but this may work to our advantage. If the Hunters think you are still with the Alliance, they won’t be expecting two rogue Witches sneaking up behind them,” Gabriel reasons.

Nathan waits for him to continue, but when he doesn’t, Nathan takes a deep breath. He does not want to even leave the opportunity open, but he knows he must.

“And what about you, Gabriel? You know you don’t have to… if you don’t want to.”

“Nathan, do you even have to ask? I’m going wherever you go.”


	3. Unharmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan cares for a hurt Gabriel.

Nathan’s hands shake. When he curls them into fists, they still tremble. He stands up to pace, but then his whole body is shaking, and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. He kneels down on his knees again.

Gabriel is breathing evenly now, and watching the slow rise and fall of his chest makes Nathan feel a little better. Only an hour ago, his breaths came minutes apart, and Nathan worried they would eventually taper into nothing at all. His eyes are still closed, but Nathan knows he’s sleeping, not unconscious, and that gives him warmth.

As soon as he wakes up and heals properly, Nathan is going to hit him. And then hug him. Maybe not in that order.

He watches Gabriel sleep, and he remembers how his body fell in a flash of gunfire and blood. For him. When he slit Sameen’s throat, two Hunters trained their guns on him. Gabriel shot them both before they could fire, and then a third Hunter shot him. The Alliance did not look back, and Gabriel crumpled to the ground alone.

That is the last image Nathan remembers before he woke up in a cave with Gabriel in his arms. Before he could think too deeply on that, he felt the stickiness of blood in between his fingers, and he realized that Gabriel’s shirt was soaked, and his wound looked a lot worse up close.

Nathan hesitated to use the Fairborn, for he knew how the knife craved to cut more than just a bullet, so he chose the dagger that Gabriel gifted him instead. While he hated to cause him more pain, Nathan accepted that this was the only way to save his life in the end. He dug the blade into Gabriel’s stomach, and he carved the poisoned bullet out.

Once the Hunter’s weapon was removed, Gabriel’s healing quickly began. He mended slower than Nathan, but the bleeding stopped, and Nathan relaxed. A little.

That was an hour ago, and now Nathan practically pants with the need to do something. He wants to wake Gabriel and tell him to speed up his healing, but he realizes that would be counterproductive. Gabriel needs rest to properly recuperate. He also needs food.

Nathan has no idea where they are outside a cave in the woods. He thought that he gained control over the temporary amnesia from his transformations, but he still could not quite grasp at the memories from watching Gabriel fall to waking up here. He convinces himself that it does not matter for the time being, and he leaves the cave. Gabriel is sleeping. He will be fine.

Nathan transforms, and he finds a deer quickly enough. He kills her without tearing into her body, and he turns back into a human to carry her back to the cave.

When Gabriel finally blinks his eyes open, he already has a fire built, and he’s roasting a slab of the meat on a stick.

“Nathan?”

Nathan sets the meat on a rock and moves to kneel at Gabriel’s side. “Are you okay?” he asks.

Gabriel nods though he looks unsure. “I thought… we were supposed to…” He rubs his temples as the thoughts and memories slowly piece themselves together.

“You saved my life. You shot those Hunters, but then one shot you. I think I brought you here,” Nathan explains.

“You think?”

Nathan shrugs. “I transformed, and I don’t remember much. I’m not even sure where we are.”

Gabriel sits up, and he winces. Nathan helps him rest comfortably against the wall of the cave, and Gabriel casts his gaze around their modest abode. Rounded stone walls. A fire pit with skewers of meat. The clothes on their backs.

“You should heal now. I cut the bullet out, but you need to heal properly,” Nathan tells him.

Gabriel lifts the shreds of his clothes to peer at the wound in his stomach. The worst of it is gone, but there’s still a thick cut that Nathan needs Gabriel to heal into a scar. The skin knits back together slowly, and the process takes all of Gabriel’s concentration.

When he’s finished, he rests his head back against the wall. Nathan finally breathes easily. They are both safe. They are both alive.

“You saved my life. Thank you,” Gabriel says.

Nathan shakes his head. “You only got hurt because you saved me. You shouldn’t do that. I heal a lot faster than you.”

“I promised your father that I would keep you unharmed.”

Golden sparkles explode in Gabriel’s eyes, and Nathan watches them. They give him a warm feeling in his stomach even as the bad memories assault his mind. His father. The blood and the gore as Nathan ate his heart. Annalise.

Gabriel’s expression softens, and he reaches out to tuck a strand of Nathan’s dark hair behind his ear. His fingertips caress his cheek in the process.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

Nathan shakes his head and wraps his arms around Gabriel. He pulls the other boy close to him, and he can feel his heartbeat against his chest, and the warmth of the blood beneath his skin. He breathes in every sign that he is alive, and Nathan smiles where Gabriel can’t see him.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he whispers into Gabriel’s ear.

The older boy doesn’t seem to know how to respond at first, but then he hugs Nathan tight. They embrace in that way for a long time, neither one wanting to let go.


	4. Winter Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan confronts Gabriel about the stealing.

It started with a coat.

Once the Alliance fell apart, Nathan and Gabriel both agreed to go on their own. Gabriel insisted that Nathan was in more danger than ever now, so he needed to lay low. Nathan was tired of working with others.

They stayed in forests. Nathan liked the chance to fade away and pretend - at least for now - that the war and everything else did not exist. As much as he wanted to stay that way forever, he knew he could not. Annalise killed his father, and Soul still systematically ruined lives. Nathan would need to stop that, but not today.

And maybe not tomorrow.

On a night beneath a collection of pine trees Nathan mentioned that the weather was getting colder. Gabriel agreed, and then they both fell asleep.

Two days later, Nathan found a black insulated coat for both snow and rain next to him when he woke.

“What is this?” he asked Gabriel.

Gabriel lounged against a tree trunk and only shrugged. “Who knows?”

Next came gloves. They appeared in his new coat’s pockets. When he confronted Gabriel, the other witch only smirked.

“You could at least get yourself some as well,” Nathan grumbled.

Gabriel shrugged again.

The nights grew colder, and as much as Nathan wanted to resist, he found himself increasingly grateful for Gabriel’s gifts. He gathered firewood without freezing his fingers, and the lighter Gabriel presented him came in handy as well. They ate melted cheese on bread beneath the stars that night.

Eventually Gabriel did start wearing a jacket Nathan had never seen before, but his hands stayed bear. He wanted to call him a Swiss idiot, but he did not want to address the issue. Not yet.

They made their way across the country. Camped at night. Climbed and swam and walked during the day. They came across Hunters once but avoided them easily enough.

Then Nathan woke up to find a sketchbook complete with pencils at his feet, and he mentally drew the line. Nathan mentioned missing drawing the other night and now this.

When Gabriel returned from gathering wood for the morning’s fire, Nathan confronted him.

“Where do you get all this stuff?”

Gabriel arranged the sticks in a proper pile and retrieved the lighter from his pocket. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

Gabriel lit the fire, and the flames cast a red hue on his smirk.

“You shouldn’t steal. You’re the one who said we need to lie low.”

“I said you need to lie low.”

“Your life matters, too.”

Gabriel sighed, but at least that smirk dropped from his face. “You sound like Michele.”

“Your sister?”

Gabriel nodded. “She didn’t like the stealing either.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“You have to survive somehow.”

Nathan turned away and stared at the ground. He was not entirely sure why his emotions tumbled and swirled in his stomach like this. He had killed before - taken lives with his own hands - so why did stealing a pair of gloves or even a sketchbook matter so much?

“It’s just… Sometimes I forget you’re a Black witch.”

Gabriel’s expression crumpled, and Nathan had only seen that look of hurt a few times. He immediately wanted to take the words because that wasn’t what he meant. He only thought back to when he first met Gabriel, and his love for croissants, coffee, and books were so different from his idea of a Black witch.

Before Nathan could clarify, Gabriel stood and left. He stomped into the forest.

Nathan sat down at the fire and crossed his legs. He did not see Gabriel for the rest of the day.

He realized that he had messed up, and he was not entirely sure how to fix it. He doubted that racing after Gabriel was the best way to go, so he gave him space. When the sun rose in the sky, he picked up the sketchbook and penciled a quick picture of the scenery and then the fire. He tried one of Gabriel, but he ended up scribbling over it. He could never quite capture him in pencil lines alone.

He ate at some point and napped at another. When the sun dipped below the horizon, Gabriel returned.

Nathan wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come to him, so he stayed quiet.

Gabriel sat down beside him. Nathan added more wood to the fire earlier, so the flames danced with as much fervor as ever. The collage of crimson and gold almost matched the sunset in the sky.

“It’s not like I like to steal,” Gabriel finally said. “But we don’t have a lot of options right now. It’s not like either of us can get a job.”

“I know.”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

Nathan shrugged. “Sometimes you’re a Black witch, and sometimes you’re not.” Those still weren’t quite the words he meant, but he kept on in hope that he would eventually find them. “I was always told that Black witches were ruthless. That they knew nothing of loyalty, but you’re still here, with me. But then you’re still a Black witch because you steal and kill when you need to.”

When Nathan finished, Gabriel sighed. “You know how I feel about you. Don’t make me say it again.”

And Nathan did know. He knew the extent of Gabriel’s feelings all too well.

“I didn’t mean to make you mad,” Nathan admitted.

“I know, Nathan. And I know you grew up with White witches, so you don’t have the best opinion of Black witches. But surely by now you realize just how complicated that actually is?”

“Of course.”

Nathan’s gaze lingered on how the setting son cast shadows on Gabriel’s cheekbones.

“Of course I do.”


	5. His Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of an AU. The war is over, Rose lives, and Nathan and Gabriel are on decent terms with Annalise. So a very optimistic AU.
> 
> Nathan learns that Gabriel wants to go to college, and he does whatever it takes to get him there.

Nathan found the pamphlet when he was searching for a pencil. He rustled through the drawers of the desk that normally only Gabriel used, and while he found three graphite pencils more than acceptable for his sketching, his eyes lingered on something else.

He pulled out a brightly-colored piece of paper folded in thirds. He recognized some of the letters and a shape or two of a word he knew but the overall effect offered him no meaning whatsoever. However, when he opened it up, a picture of a tall brick building flanked by flourishing trees caught his attention. The image gave him a strange feeling, and when he heard the door open, he shoved the pamphlet in his pocket.

“Hey, Nathan,” Gabriel greeted cheerfully. He set his bag down at the kitchen table, and he toed off his black shoes. “How was your day?”

Nathan backed away from the desk as if the mere proximity incriminated him. “Good,” Nathan said, stepping closer to where Gabriel took off his jacket. “How was work?”

A waft of butter and bread tickled Nathan’s nose. Gabriel always smelled like this when he returned these days. That, and coffee grounds.

“Great, great. Cinnamon roll day, so crazy busy. I barely looked up before it was time to clock out. On the bright side I made lots of tips.”

Gabriel always made lots of tips. Even though he shifted into a fain when he went to work, he still managed to enchant all his female - and some male - customers. Rose confided in him that all the customers fell for his charm and winning smile. Then Rose giggled and added, “Too bad they don’t know all that money goes to spoiling Gabriel’s boyfriend at home.”

“I’m not his boyfriend, and he doesn’t spoil me,” Nathan always replied. But each time Rose brought it up, Nathan sounded less sure.

Now Gabriel held out a bundled napkin and large to-go cup to Nathan. Before he took the offered gifts, Nathan recognized them as his favorite breakfast sandwich and black coffee.

“Before you say anything, we had extra,” Gabriel promised. Now down to his pants and white undershirt, he finally relaxed with comfort.

“Sure you did,” Nathan grumbled.

He wanted to bring up the paper shoved into his pocket, but he didn’t. Instead, he and Gabriel made eggs, ham, and potatoes for dinner, and then Gabriel read out loud to Nathan while the sunlight lasted. Then they spread their blankets on the balcony and slept outside.

Nathan did not bring up the strange paper. He had a feeling it would lead to a fight, and he didn’t want that. Not now.

…

So he went to Rose. Once Gabriel returned to the bakery the next day, Nathan made the trek across the mountain to the city. He tended to avoid the bustle of urban life, but Rose thrived on the energy of thousands of people in one place. Gabriel was somewhere in between. He liked working in the city, but he also enjoyed returning to the countryside with Nathan each day.

Nathan only made the trip on rare occasion, but he deemed this cause worth it. He only knocked once before Rose opened the door and enveloped him in a tight embrace.

“Nathan,” she cried. “About time you come visit me! I shouldn’t be the one who always has to cross the mountain.”

When she finally released him, she invited him inside. She found some cookies and tea, and they settled in the living room.

Rose’s apartment was small, but she made good use of the space with paintings on the wall and a tasteful color scheme of pastels. Once the war ended, a fragile peace stretched between the White and Black witches. The laws changed to create equality for both, but underlying racism still prevailed. As a White who served the Blacks, Rose chose to lay low, and Nathan noticed bars on her windows as well as extra locks on the doors.

“So what’s this about? It must be pretty important if you ventured into the city,” Rose opened, never one to beat around the bush. She crossed her legs, the fabric of her black dress slipping up her thighs, and she bit into a cookie.

Nathan dug the paper out of his pocket, and he straightened the best he could before he handed it to Rose. “What’s this?” he asked.

Rose scanned the document and then lifted her eyes to give him a strange look. “Where did you find this?”

“It was in Gabriel’s desk.”

“Why didn’t you ask him?”

Nathan shrugged. “So what is it?”

Rose’s gaze lingered on him far too long, but she eventually replied, “This is a brochure to a community college. It’s in a suburb only about a half hour’s walk from your and Gabby’s house.”

“A community college?” The words felt strange in Nathan’s mouth, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the taste of them.

“It’s like a university, a place for higher education, but these are generally cheaper and a little more accommodating,” Rose explained. “Has Gabriel mentioned wanting to take classes or something?”

“No,” Nathan said, and that word tasted far more bitter on his tongue. “He hasn’t said anything to me.”

“Hmm… Maybe you should ask him then,” Rose mused, tapping a finger to her bottom lip. 

“Maybe.”

They chatted a bit longer, but Nathan was distracted for most of the conversation. Eventually, Rose practically kicked him out with strict instructions to talk to Gabriel about this. Nathan nodded along, but he made no promises.

…

He knew about college of course. Annalise was at an university now. Not that they talked much. Even if they settled their pasts at the end of the war, neither of them felt comfortable around each other anymore. He respected her decisions, and she respected his. They both felt satisfied with this reconciliation made easier with distance.

Still, the last time they talked, Nathan specifically remembered her mentioning university and a dorm hall and classes. Something about wanting a degree to find her own place in the world. A role that neither her family nor her past defined for her.

Was that what Gabriel sought? Why hadn’t he talked about this with Nathan?

They lived together, had done so ever since the war ended. While Nathan insisted that he did not return Gabriel’s feelings in that particular way, he didn’t want to leave his friend either. So they rented a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Gabriel was firm on that point. He wanted to keep Nathan out of the public eye since he knew some witches might still want him dead, and he understood Nathan’s love for the outdoors anyway.

Gabriel found a job in the city to pay for said rent and supply some money for them to live on. Nathan spent his days hiking and hunting and fishing, and he did his best to keep their freezer filled with meat to help ease the financial burden.

But he wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Gabriel carried most of the weight. Did Gabriel consider him a burden? Is that why he wanted to go to this community college?

Nathan shook his head and went for a run.

…

By the time he returned, Gabriel was already home.

“Hey,” he greeted, smiling warmly. “I brought back a couple of steaks to grill for dinner. Big juicy ones. We should treat ourselves every once in a while.”

Nathan stared from the doorway as Gabriel seasoned the meat. He noticed his work clothes by his bag, and he thought of how Gabriel shifted into the same fein every day just out of the city, so he could go to work without worrying about some ex-Hunter or disgruntled White attacking him while on the job. So many sacrifices and small gestures, all for him.

What had Nathan ever done for him?

“You should go to college.”

Gabriel’s hand slipped, and the seasoning fell. He caught the bottle just before it hit the ground, but the stunned look on his face did not go away. “What?”

Nathan sat down at their kitchen table as if he had said nothing out of the ordinary. “College. You should go,” he repeated.

“What makes you say that?” Gabriel questioned.

“I found your brochure. If you really want to go, then do it. If you’re worried about money, I can pick up a job or something,” Nathan offered. He hadn’t really thought this through, but the idea came to him readily. Gabriel worked for them both all this time, so maybe it was Nathan’s turn now.

“Nathan, don’t be ridiculous,” Gabriel chided. “Some of the White witches, and even a few Black witches, are not happy about the new order, and they blame you. You’ve been through enough. Just stay here and enjoy yourself. We’re managing fine on my paycheck.”

“But what about you?” Nathan insisted.

Gabriel sighed, and he took down a cup from the cabinet. He poured himself a cup of black coffee before joining Nathan at the table. “Look, I happened across the pamphlet, and maybe I thought about it for a little bit, but it’s really not important. I like my job at the bakery. I’m surrounded by all my favorite things: croissants, coffee, and people.”

Nathan stared at where his hands folded on the table. “What would you study? If you did go.”

“I don’t know. Literature maybe. I could teach it.”

“How long would it take?”

“Most degrees take four years, but if you work hard, you can finish them in three and sometimes even two. But listen, Nathan, it was just something I thought about briefly. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

His coffee brown eyes, flecked with gold that twirled as Nathan watched, softened, and he was nothing but gentleness and warmth. Nathan kind of wanted to hit him though he knew that would only make him feel worse eventually. Why did he have to be so damn sacrificial all the time?

“You never let me do anything for you,” Nathan grumbled.

“You’ve done enough for us all,” Gabriel said.

Nathan jerked to his feet, and the chair fell to the floor. Before he did something like throw a punch or kick a table, he turned away and flew out the door. He broke into a run, and he did not stop until sunset.

When he returned, the steaks were in the fridge, and Gabriel was already asleep on the balcony, a book and a flashlight next to him.

…

Nathan supposed he was desperate. Things had been awkward between him and Gabriel the last few days which somehow led him to the lobby of a house that held three hundred girls with the buzzing of a thousand electronic devices in his head. He practically gritted his teeth when he told the receptionist, “I need to talk to Annalise.”

“Do you have a room number?” the RA asked, not looking up from her laptop. More buzzing.

“No.”

The RA sighed before she pushed a button and said, “Could Annalise come down to the lobby? Thank you.” Her voice echoed throughout the hall, and Nathan resisted the urge to cover his ears.

This world was so… strange. What about this appealed to Gabriel?

Nathan remembered the name of the university Annalise chose, and he found a map in a convenience store. Once Gabriel went to work that day, Nathan visited the city for the second time in only a week. Desperation.

After he found the campus, he asked a passing college student for directions to Cathcart Hall, another detail he recalled from his conversation with Annalise. He found the dormitory easily enough, but he quickly learned that he could not go past the lobby. Which led him to the resident attendant which led him to here.

Which led to a familiar flash of golden hair and silver-flecked eyes.

“Nathan?”

“Hi, Annalise.”

The RA watched them both carefully, so Annalise forced a smile. “Come on, let’s go get a bagel.”

A few moments later found them at a small table in the corner of a bagel shop that was actually inside a different building with lots of other food stores. Annalise called it the Student Center, but Nathan just found college life as a whole stranger and stranger.

Annalise bought them both bagels with cream cheese, and she picked at hers awkwardly. “So,” she said. “What brings you here?”

“How do you get into college?”

Annalise’s eyes widened, and she dropped the shred of bagel that almost made it to her mouth. “Nathan, you want to go to college?”

Nathan shook his head. “No, but… I think Gabriel does. He won’t really talk to me about it, but I know he was looking into this community college. What would he have to do to get in?”

“Well, um, there are some application forms he’d need to fill out. Some colleges require an entry test. Once he got accepted, then he’d have to pay for tuition and classes and books… But community colleges are usually pretty cheap,” Annalise added when she noticed the way Nathan’s face darkened.

“I would need to get a job. I don’t know what I could do when I can’t even read,” Nathan grumbled. Normally he didn’t mind his disability, but the familiar self hatred pooled in his stomach now.

“There are other ways to make money. You can draw,” Annalise pointed out.

“What good does that do?”

Annalise reached into her school bag and pulled out her laptop. When she opened it and powered it on, the buzzing grew sharper in Nathan’s head. He’d almost gotten used to the constant pain, but such proximity made it more difficult. Still, Annalise seemed intent on something. She clicked a few buttons before turning the screen to Nathan.

He squinted his eyes and realized he stared at countless small pictures of art. Portraits, landscapes, anything.

“What’s this?” Nathan asked.

“People sell their art online. I could help you set up a profile. If you give me your drawings, I can upload them to the internet, and people will pay money to buy them,” Annalise explained.

“But why would they do that?”

For the first time during their entire visit Annalise offered a genuine smile. “Because your art is good, Nathan.”

…

When Nathan finally left Annalise’s university, he did not entirely know what to feel. Annalise set up an account for him on some website, and he promised her that he would return tomorrow with whatever finished drawings he had available. However, he still wasn’t entirely sure about the whole money thing. Why would anyone waste money on something he created?

Still, he didn’t have any other ideas on how to pay for Gabriel’s college, so he would trust Annalise for now. She was pretty good at that kind of stuff anyway.

When Gabriel returned from work that day, Nathan asked him to go on a hike with him, and they fell into a routine as natural to them both as breathing. They ran and walked and climbed, and when they didn’t pant with exertion, they tossed jokes and idle thoughts between them with ease.

…

Two weeks later, Nathan received a letter from Annalise. The mode of communication was a bit outdated, but as Nathan and Gabriel both refused to own a phone or computer, Annalise did not have a lot of choice.

Gabriel was at work. so Nathan trekked to Rose’s apartment, and she read the letter to him.

“Whoa, Nathan, this was a great idea,” Rose granted as soon as she scanned the words.

“What was?” Nathan asked.

“Selling your art for money to pay for Gabby’s college. Nice thinking! I’m surprised.”

“It was Annalise’s idea. Did it work?”

Rose giggled as she waved the letter in the air. “Well, according to this, you are already one hundred dollars richer. Apparently Annalise did some promoting, and her friends bought a few pieces and then recommended you to some others. The date is for a week ago, so you might have even more now.”

Nathan’s lips parted. It worked?

“Oh, and she wants you to bring her more sketches. Also, you need to pick up your cash.”

…

A month later, Nathan had thirteen pieces of artwork on his profile, and he had an envelope with just under five hundred dollars in his pocket. Besides that, with the help of Rose, he now had a copy of a certain college’s application form.

Rose and Annalise had both played their parts.

Now it was Nathan’s turn.

Convincing Gabriel.

He didn’t know why he was nervous. It was just Gabriel. And this was something they both wanted, right? Gabriel wanted to go to college, and Nathan wanted him to be happy. Now that they had some money to spare and the means to earn more, there shouldn’t be a problem, right?

But even despite all his internal convincing, Nathan still felt his stomach twist.

When the door finally opened, Nathan almost felt sick.

“Hey,” Gabriel greeted. Then he frowned as soon as he entered the kitchen where Nathan waited. “Is something wrong?”

How did he do that? He only needed to glance at him to gauge his mood, and frankly, it pissed Nathan off.

“No. How was work?”

Gabriel shrugged, still eyeing him carefully. “The usual. Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”

Nathan muffled a sigh. Might as well jump into it, he supposed. He picked up the stack of papers from the table and handed them to Gabriel. The other dropped his bag in order to take the offering, and only a moment later, he glared at Nathan with his lips parted in betrayal.

“Nathan, I told you-”

“Just listen for a minute, okay?” Nathan snapped. “We have some money now. I found a job that I can do from home, and it can pay for you to go.”

“A job? When did you-? Look, Nathan, it’s okay. It was just a dream I briefly considered, but I’m happy now. You don’t have to work or anything-”

The anger surged up in Nathan without any warning. He thought he controlled the most of his temper, so the sudden rush of rage caught him by surprise. Suddenly his hands clenched Gabriel’s shoulders, and he shoved Gabriel’s back against the wall between their kitchen and living room. Gabriel did not fight back, he never did, but he glared at Nathan even as Nathan glowered at him.

“I know I don’t have to,” Nathan growled. “Why is it so hard for you to accept that I want to do this for you?”

“I know you want to, and I’m telling you there’s no need.”

“And I’m telling you that you’re lying. You always act like you don’t mind sacrificing everything. You’ll work twelve hour shifts and take all the risks as long as I’m happy at home. Well, I want to care for you for once.”

“You already did plenty. During the war-”

“Fuck the war! This isn’t about the war! Or White witches! Or Black witches!”

Gabriel actually winced at the sudden volume, and Nathan realized he gripped him hard enough to leave bruises. He loosened his hold so that his hands only rested lightly at his shoulders. A request to stay still but with the option to leave if Gabriel so chose.

“This is about you and me,” Nathan sighed. “I wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t want to, but I want you to be happy. And I think going to this college would make you happy.”

Now Gabriel sighed, and he met Nathan’s eyes, so open and trusting. “Okay, okay, Nathan. Say I do want to go. Say I pass the entrance exam and the board accepts me, and those two are far from certain. How are we supposed to manage if I have to cut my hours to go to school?”

“I told you. I got a job,” Nathan insisted. “You can quit your job and just focus on college.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. “Leaving that topic alone for now, what’s your job?”

“I sell my art online now. People buy it, and I get money for it. Annalise set up the account, and she handles the technological part. But look.”

Predictably, Gabriel tensed at the mention of Annalise, but then Nathan pulled out the wad of cash from his pocket. Nathan practically shoved the money in Gabriel’s hands, and the other stared down at the proof with wide eyes.

“Wow, Nathan. Congratulations. I always knew you were a good artist,” Gabriel murmured softly.

Nathan shrugged. “The point is, I can support us while you’re in school.”

Gabriel pushed the money back into Nathan’s pants pocket, his hands retreating back to their place against the wall. He shook his head, and sorrow shined in his eyes, and Nathan really did not understand why.

“You shouldn’t have to support me, Nathan.”

“You support me.”

“Yes, but you know how I feel about you. I don’t think you understand… what you’re implying. I mean, college lasts up to four years. How do you know we’ll even be living together four years from now?”

“Do you want to separate?”

“What? No! Of course not. But you…” Gabriel sighed. “I’ve never had any delusions about the differences in our feelings. A year from now, maybe two, you’re probably going to want to move on to something else.”

The hurt in Gabriel’s sad smile and slumped shoulders hurt Nathan, too, and he almost wanted to hit Gabriel. Was he being stupid on purpose?

“Don’t assume that sort of thing. Besides we’re talking about right now. Right now, you want to go to college, and I have the money to get us through while we do that. What’s the problem?”

Gabriel stared into Nathan’s eyes, and they held each other’s gazes for a long moment. Finally, Gabriel released a breath and looked away. “Are you sure about this?”

Nathan smiled for the first time since Gabriel got home and stepped back. “Of course. Fill out the form. Rose said you can enroll in time for the spring semester if you hurry.”

…

Two months later found Gabriel and Nathan sitting at the kitchen table together. They both had cups of coffee, and while Nathan worked on a drawing, Gabriel wrote word after word on lined notebook paper.

Gabriel sighed and stretched. “This essay would go so much faster if I was typing,” he sighed.

“You know the rules,” Nathan said as he continued to shade without looking up. “No laptop in the house.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I think Rose uses my laptop when I’m not there. I’m a little concerned about what she looks up on the internet.”

Nathan shrugged, and Gabriel went back to writing. The sun set and cast the kitchen in darkness, so Gabriel lit a few candles at one point. At another he made coffee. When he needed to finish a paper, he often found ways like this to procrastinate.

Eventually, Nathan gave up on his drawing and went outside to fall asleep. The last hour or so had made him anxious, but he hated leaving Gabriel to do his homework alone. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stay under a roof a moment longer. He took his blanket and went to the balcony.

Two more hours passed before Gabriel joined him.

“Finish your paper?” Nathan whispered in the dark.

Gabriel lay beside him, their shoulders brushing. “I thought you’d be asleep.”

When Nathan provided no response, Gabriel sighed, “Yes. Took forever, but I’ll edit it in the morning, and it should be good.”

“College is more work than I thought,” Nathan commented.

Gabriel snorted. “That’s what you tied me into.”

“You like it though, right?”

Gabriel leaned over and kissed Nathan on the nose. “Yes, yes I do. Thank you.”


	6. For Granted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has spoilers for Half Truths. I highly recommend reading that first.
> 
> Nathan and Gabriel cross paths with an old friend of Gabriel's, and Nathan is not pleased.

I realize something is wrong the moment that Gabriel tenses beside me.

Picking up on his distress, I subtly grab the butter knife from the table and glance around the room. I thought only fains visited this place, but apparently Gabriel’s intel missed something. Then again, we should have known better than to let our guards down with Hunters swarming all over Europe. Maybe using France as a hideout was a mistake.

Gabriel apparently used to climb here a lot when he first returned to Switzerland. I had never heard of this place, Céüse, but Gabriel seems to like it here, and he knows all the coffeeshops around. He chose this one for their pastries, and I went along with it against my better judgment.

After what happened with the Hunter attack and Annalise’s betrayal, I don’t like going out in public much. The crowds make me antsy, and the hiss of electronics grates harder against my sensitive mind. However, I’ve forced Gabriel to make enough sacrifices in this hellbent journey, so I thought I ought to indulge him just once.

Mistake.

Gabriel does a good job of appearing natural, but I notice the slight widening of his coffee brown eyes. I follow his line of sight and focus on a boy with golden hair. Nothing stands out about him at first, for he moves like a fain and smiles like nothing is wrong with the world. Then again, I’m not close enough to check his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I mutter only loud enough for Gabriel to hear.

My voice seems to shake him from his daze, and he finally turns to me. When he notices the knife clenched in my hand, he casually weaves his fingers between mine and removes the makeshift weapon from my hold. Retuning the knife to the butter dish, he carefully keeps his face down as he speaks to me.

“Nothing. Don’t draw attention to us.”

“That’s not nothing,” I hiss, still quiet.

I’m not sure I’ve seen Gabriel like this before. He always has an aura of comfort around him, and even when danger surrounds him, he’s more likely to smolder with anger than show a hint of weakness. Now his fingers tremble slightly, and he looks anxious. I try not to linger too long on this line of thought, but this might be the first time his concern is not directed toward me.

Before I can make him tell me what’s happening, a voice floats toward us, and Gabriel stills as if struck.

“Gabriel? Is that you?”

It’s the boy. The one with blond hair and tanned skin. Now that he comes closer, I see he has brown eyes, but they are plain, motionless. No twisting flecks or spirals. Fain.

Why would a fain know Gabriel? And how could he force Gabriel to react in this way?

When the boy stands directly beside our table, Gabriel recognizes that there is no exit from this. Under different circumstances I might help him escape, but after Gabriel tried to hide this whole thing from me as well, I’m curious. I try not to glare too strongly at the newcomer, but I’m told even my milder scowls singe like fire.

“Hi, Jon,” Gabriel murmurs, bashful. Is he blushing?

The boy, Jon, parts his lips in shock. “So it is you,” he exclaims in awe. “I thought I would never see you again. Where have you been?”

“I thought you were in America,” Gabriel returns.

“Plans fell through. Rob’s dad passed away suddenly, so he needed to stay with his family. Then Marc’s finances bottomed out. I decided to go back to England, but I missed the mountain here. I’m only here for a week,” Jon explains, practically all in one breath.

“I just moved back as well. Only visiting. We’ll be moving on soon.”

At the mention of another person, Jon finally lets his eyes fall to me. Though his expression only showed excitement and awe and shock when he stared at Gabriel, something dark twists behind his eyes now. I wonder how this fain sees me.

My jeans are worn and tattered, and my boots still have mud caked to them. I’m wearing layers, but the only visible one is an army jacket and a scarf. Black gloves hide my hands. However, when Jon struggles to pull a polite face, I have a feeling that my appearance doesn’t put him off. My presence with Gabriel does.

Something pulls in my stomach.

“What are the odds, huh?” Jon says, turning back to Gabriel. “That we would both come back at the same time. Almost like destiny.”

“Almost,” Gabriel answers vaguely. “Do you want to sit down?”

Jon glances at me again. “I don’t want to interrupt.”

“It’s okay. This is my friend, Nathan. He won’t mind. Nathan, this is Jon. We climbed here together some.”

Jon pulls up a chair to the end of the table while I display all my feelings to Gabriel with a glare. He argues our relationship every other day of the year, but he chooses now of all times to go with ‘friend.’ Not only that, but he never once mentioned this kid. So much for giving trust to earn trust.

“How long are you staying, Gabriel? Maybe we could go for a climb. For old time’s sake,” Jon suggests.

Gabriel glances at me, but I avoid his eyes. I don’t like the way Jon says his name. He lingers too long on the syllables like he’s trying to pronounce it how Gabriel does with his French-American accent. I make a point of drinking my coffee spitefully.

“I’m not sure how long we’re staying,” Gabriel admits.

There’s a pause, and even I can see how much history is between them. They steal frightful glances of each other, and I can practically feel the weight of everything they’re not saying. I used to think it would be nice to disappear and not have people know my name, but now that I sit ignored completely, I’m not sure I like it. At least not like this.

“Look, Gabriel.” Jon sighs, but he forces himself to meet Gabriel’s gaze. “Are you okay? The last time we met… You seemed like you were in some sort of trouble.”

When his eyes flicker to me, I have no doubt that Jon assumes I dragged him into said trouble. I would be angrier if I did not know there was some truth in it.

“Jon, I’m truly sorry about… everything. It wasn’t fair to you, and I thought we would move on without seeing each other again. I didn’t-”

“It’s okay,” Jon interrupts. “I guess I always knew that you had more going on than just climbing. I thought that mysterious bad boy aura was just your charm, but I think I get it now. Well, no, I don’t. But I realize that I’m probably not going to.”

Gabriel smiles weakly. “I meant it when I told you to find someone nice. You don’t know how those climbs helped me back then.”

Jon matches his smile, but his looks a little more broken. “Right. I’ll do that. You mean a lot to me, you know. Thank you for, well, I guess everything. I hope you’re all right. You probably won’t tell me otherwise, but I do.”

“Don’t worry about me. We’ll be fine.”

I wonder how Gabriel says that with a straight face. We’ve been sleeping in abandoned hunting lodges and caves, and we eat only what I hunt or Gabriel steals. The coffee and croissants on our table came from money originally in another man’s pocket.

Jon nods though, and he stands. I wonder if he notices the relief in the way my muscles relax the tiniest bit.

Then my body suddenly goes rigid when Jon leans down and kisses Gabriel lightly on the cheek. “I guess I better go. Please stay safe,” he murmurs. 

Even after he leaves, my mouth is still dry, and the dark thing in my stomach twists and lurches until I feel sick. The image of Jon’s lips against Gabriel’s skin flashes in my mind in vivid definition over and over again, and despite my wishes, I think of when my lips claimed Gabriel’s, and yet that fain…

I stand suddenly, and Gabriel startles. “Nathan.”

“Going for a run. I’ll meet you at the cabin.”

I don’t wait for his response before I flee the cafe and then the village altogether. When I emerge from the streets and buildings, I burst into a full sprint through the wilderness of the mountains. Céüse is a popular mountain for climbers, but Gabriel and I found the quieter parts where residents live during the summer months. The cabin where we’re staying probably belongs to one of them, but as it’s out of season, the house remains open and empty for us alone.

I’m not sure how long I run, the adrenaline driving all thoughts from my mind, but it’s dark by the time I stumble within sight of the cabin.

At some point I shed my jacket and scarf, but I’ll worry about that tomorrow. For now I need to see Gabriel. Even if my stomach flutters at the thought of facing him after everything, I know I need to. Despite the anger and frustration I ran out, I still have this burning energy that no physical exertion can touch.

When I come inside and shut the door behind me, Gabriel is sipping a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. The cabin is small by nature, so the living room and kitchen are all basically the same space. Only a single bedroom and bathroom break from the main area.

“You stayed out late,” Gabriel comments lightly. He swirls his coffee cup and drains the remaining dregs.

“Yeah,” I reply and pull off my boots to leave them at the door. They’re dirtier than ever.

Gabriel’s gaze falls on me, and I can feel him assessing me. “What happened to your jacket?” he asks.

“Tossed it somewhere. I’ll find it tomorrow,” I reply.

“Okay.”

There’s silence, and when I straighten up to look at him, I wonder if he’ll speak first. He has to know I want more details, but Gabriel only waits patiently at the table. Fine then.

“How do you know that guy?”

“I assume you mean Jon.”

“The fain.”

“I told you that I used to climb here. He did, too. Sometimes we climbed together.”

“When?”

“After I started working for Mercury. Before I met you.”

“Does he know…?”

“About witches? No. He’s an ordinary fain.”

“He kissed you.”

Finally, something in Gabriel’s composure breaks, and he hesitates. “After I met you, I told Jon goodbye. I thought he was going to America. But before that, we… well, we didn’t date, not really. But we… we did have a relationship.”

“Ah.”

I don’t know why I feel so sick. I mean, it’s not like I thought Gabriel never kissed anyone else before he met me. Not that it should matter. Gabriel’s my friend. If he wants to go find love or whatever, I just want him to be happy.

But with a fain… like Jon…

There’s heat and a shade of red, and though I want to imagine Gabriel finding happiness with someone else, I can’t do it.

I guess I never thought about a time when Gabriel didn’t let all his thoughts and worries revolve around me. Though I insist that we’re friends and snap at him to worry about himself for once, I never actually consider the possibility. How long have I taken him for granted?

Gabriel rises from his chair, and he crosses the room until he’s right in front of me. “It wasn’t like how I feel about you, Nathan. No one… no one has ever made me feel the way that you do.”

Before I can think about anything, I close the distance between us, and then Gabriel’s back is against the wall, and I’m kissing him again. Not like last time when I started out with nervous curiosity. I practically attack him, but he responds more than willingly. His arms are around me, and mine are around him, creeping up his shirt. I fan my fingers across his skin, and all the while, our lips meld together until there’s no space between us at all.

I’m not sure of anything right now, but I do know Gabriel is the only person I can trust. He’s the only one to stay by my side no matter what, and I know he would never do anything to hurt me ever.

How did I ever think I needed to know anything else?


End file.
